Dear UCSD wifi, you quirky gal,
You’re the ultimate femme fatale:
Mysterious, fragile, an insurmountable shell-
Being cast from your side is unbearable hell.

You know you’re an affection fiend;
You covet my attention, my jealous queen.
You’ll connect with me as bright as dawn,
But my crush snapchats me- suddenly, you’re gone.

Like an old lover’s lost caress,
You’re mine one moment, memories the next.
I am a member of your endless empire
And your mere touch I do desire

But, like a long-distance high school romance,
You never really had a chance
Because last month I got unlimited data
LTE is first; you’re now beta.